Date #23: Eww Groooooosssss: A Tidepool Date

TIDEPOOLS
Tidepools are rocky pools of water on ocean beaches that fill with anemones, mysterious little crabs, and beautiful shells. They are all over the coast of California.

THE DATE THEORY
If you were raised in Southern California, you were inevitably dragged to visit the tidepools by teacher/mother/stupid little sister. But as we grew up, we forgot about these incredible micro-ecological delights and just realized their romantic potential.

THE DATE
Hit up one of many tidepool locations in the SoCal area. I purposely used this kid-website because the tidepools are more approachable and probably safer than others. These stretch from LA County to Orange County. I'm a big fan of the tidepools at Strands in Orange County. But there also incredible tidepools near Paradise Cove (which also has parking).

WEAR
Your date should be prepared to get a little damp...When they inevitable stick their leg into an anemone nest. Make sure you're both prepared with sweaters and sneakers (I could never walk on the rocks in flip flops). Bring flip flops for the sand. Good bandelero purse for the ladies (or dolphins can steal your ipod)

ZIP LOCK BAGS
great idea to store your expensive phones, keys while you dip in and out of the rocky terrain.

TO DO
Walk around on the rocks, point out the grossest animals you can find. Poke some anemones (I don't know which ones bite...poison..sting..kick...be careful). Say eww gross. It's a great opportunity to see how much your date can cowboy up. Find a shell to share. Whoever finds a starfish first doesn't have to pay for gellato.

SUNSET
As the tide comes in your tidepools generally disappear. Enjoy a sunset together, hold hands, make sand castles (mine always come out dirty). Kisses by the beach are always a little saltier, but somehow a little sweeter.

So you've decided to invite your date over to your appartment

There gets to be a time in a dating situation where someone goes to someone's house (apartment, dorm.) This may be because you're cooking, you want to watch a movie or..you know. This is a serious part in dating affairs and doesn't have to lead to sex, particularly the first time they come to your house.

The first time your dating interest comes to your house you want them to feel comfortable.
So take care.

1. Clean the damn place.
How your mom would clean it...FOR REAL. Dirty houses are really awful (clean couch, clean floor, clean sheets). Apparently candles are a sexy way to get rid of that smell (you know what I'm talking about).

2a. Warn your roommates (be they your best friends or your parents).
You want to let them know you're having company and set boundaries with them if you need. For instance, if you want to watch Anaconda with your beau you do not want your flouncy (often drunk) room-mate Lisa crawling all over your man. Give her 10 bucks for a movie or another cosmo. Tell her you need the living room. Tell her you need her to be scarce.
or
2b. Prepare for your beau to meet your roommates (be they best friends or parents).
If you're younger, it's appropriate for them to all meet. It's sort of a big step but it's never as weird as you think it's going to be (unless Lisa's your mom, eek).
3. Going into your room
If you live in a dorm it gets difficult. Often the only place to sit is the bed. This can feel really uncomfortable. Make an effort to get a couch that fits at least 2 people. Oh and I better not find out you didn't clean your room.

4. Clean your sheets
Doesn't matter if they're getting into them or not. Sheets smell up a room no matter what. Clean em for good measure (and good luck).

Date #22: Wurstküche (Not pronounced in a way that will offend her)

Wurstküche is the hottest dog place in Los Angeles right now. They have a gorgeous GORGEOUS array of sausages from Bratwurst to Filipino Marharlika. Here's the plan:

TIMING
Definitely a Great Datey Experience for Late at Night. After a fancy show at the Walt Disney Hall it's a fun way to mix it up.

PARKING: UGLY PLACE, LOTS OF SPOTS!
Although it looks pretty terrifying near Wurstküche just park close if the area makes you nervous. The scariest people there are NoHo Hipsters with creeper mustaches, "Creepsters" if you will. In any case, it may make your date nervous (it's in the heart of the Toy District) but its pretty innocuous.

THE WAIT
Because the restaurant portion is pretty loud, the major portion of your date here will be in line. It's a good opportunity to cruise the menu, ask about Beer preferences (they have a great selection of Belgian Beers) and talk about which animals you're interested in eating today. Rattlesnake, Buffalo, Pig or Monkey**.

SAUSAGE TRIVIA
Waiting in line can be tedious for any couple, here are some little facts to get you through the standing part of the evening. Here's my Portuguese Sausage Story if you need material, leads into some good international animal name play.
• Sausages are mentioned in The Odyssey which was written by Homer more than 2,700 years ago.
• Sausages were called bangers during the Second World War because they contained so much water they exploded when fried.
• More sausages are eaten on Saturday than any other day.

THE PLACE
So delicious, bring a pen and draw on the long papered tables, write little valentines and Hot Dog wishes. The restaurant is biggest in the back and you'll probably sitting next to all kinds of people from Los Angeles.

THE TASTE
Magnificent. I adore the "Rabbit, Veal & Pork Seasoned with White Wine" but you could definitely be adventurous and show off a little. Unfortunately everything with Rattlesnake and Alligator isn't that awesome, do you want to show off at the risk of not eating your food. That's lame.* Don't miss the fries and as many of the sauces that sound good to you. I'm talking, Tzatziki, Curry Ketchup, Bleu Cheese Walnut and Bacon.
SAUSAGE LINKS
Here are some good resources if you want to know more about those little tubes of delicious...whatevers.


*Ignore anything with Alligator or Rattlesnake not very delicious.
**Seasonal...***


*** It's more of an Orangutan...****
**** Maybe it's human...*****
***** They're so like us...******
****** No monkey at Wurstküche...*******
******* ...This time of year.

Flowers: Don't buy carnations

Flowers?
YES: flowers
NO: Carnations

WHAT ARE CARNATIONS
Carnations are flowers that represent death and cheapness. If you're buying flowers, buy any other one. If you're buying a bouquet, ask the florist (or a woman) if there are carnations in it. I expect you to google it on your own.

TIP: Carnations are flowers with petals with Bart Simpson Hair edges. Don't buy them

Date Idea #21: Laughgasms in Laughing Yoga

DATE THEORY
Some dates can be awkward.
Laughing yoga starts awkward.
But eventually, you're having such a good time that the rush of all the laughter results in riotous making out (with your date of course). It's worth a try: perhaps as a first date if you're sick of the usual internal laughter and awkwardness.

LAUGHING YOGA
Essentially, for an hour you are forced to laugh through non-physically strenous "hee hee, haa haa" exercises. At first, it's completely awkward (knowing this in advance is key), but suddenly it actually becomes funny and you're laughing for real. The result is giggly fits of refreshing and revitalizing giggly giggles.

CAUTION
1. Dates should be told about this in advance.
2. JUMP OUT OF YOUR HEAD: Forget your every day and decide to have a good time for an hour. I noticed that closing my eyes creeped me out a little bit, opening up and watching your colleagues laugh their faces off totally helps.
3. TOUCHING: There are parts of the class where people tap you on the back and even massage (as part of an exercise). If you or your date are uncomfortable with this, feel free to step out of those exercises and continue laughing on the sidelines.

THE DATE
1. Find a local laughing yoga group. All the Laughter Yoga Groups in LA Area
2. Take your date to the event. Stretch a little bit, say hello to the others (establish you're on a date), maybe tell some jokes.
3. Get into it. Laugh and be creeped out at first and then really start to dig it. There are a couple key points where you're told to close your eyes and laugh. I found this uncomfortable, I decided to open my eyes and watch the people around the circle laughing and it was HILARIOUS.
4. Finish the session with some high fives and head to a local burger joint and a milkshake (Johnny Rockets)