Poutine Pursuits

Again, being new to the Portland area, I'm learning about the local cuisine.  Voodoo Donuts, Brewery Fresh Beer, and apparently Poutines.  Poutines are Canadian concoctions of French Fries, Cheese Curds, and Gravy to which your nutritionist says no but my beau says HELL YES.

There are several resources for Poutine greatness (which must be derived from the French "Putain" which means something your cholesterol says to you as you're inhaling the delicioutude that the Poutine holds.)  The resource I used for the following information is: Portlandpoutine.com.  They know poutines and I am using their website to choose where we're going tonight (instead of the Opera).


POUTINE RULES
Best eaten hot (nothing gets mushy)
Pairs best with beer

CONDENSED POUTINE GUIDE
Your First Time: Potato Champion"The fries are excellent, and there are plenty of cheese curds plopped on top. The gravy though, is strange. It’s oniony and tart."
*Lamb Poutine: Lincoln (Happy Hour only)
"There was a lot of ultra-tender bites of meat, with hearty, well bodied, and dare I say soulful gravy. The curds appeared to be cheddar and the fries were up to snuff "
Canada Day Go To: Victory Bar
"The excellent french fries, chunks of melty cheddar. The bacon gravy rested mostly at the bottom the plate, but morsels of thick cut bacon remained atop the fries and cheddar."

*Skanky and Cheesy: Savoy Tavern and Bistro
Resembles fondue. Not for want of Cheese. "The gravy was tasty and well seasoned...fries were crispy"

NW Best Poutine: Laurelwood NW Publichouse
"The small was plenty. The french fries are a mix of sizes and crispinesses, the cheese curds are plentiful and cheddary, and the Mother Lode Golden Ale Gravy is delicious. This is one of the better poutines in town."
Best Vegetarian Gravy: Hawthorne Hophouse
 Meaty and Herby without the meat
Delicious and Unorthodox: Papa Haydn
"Topped with parmesan cheese, not cheese curds. And the chicken gravy contained spinach....Kennebeck fries...The gravy, though it could have handled a bit more seasoning, had the right viscosity – it clung nicely to the fries. It also contained chunks of perfectly moist pulled chicken.
C Bar: SE Poutines
Topped with collard greens. The fries, seasoned with salt and smoked paprika (aka vegan bacon), are crisp and smoky.
Classiest: Irving Street Kitchen
Delicious "Uniform bricks of golden yellow fries, and a light, dare I say, dainty white cheese sauce...like a piece of art on a plate....The gravy had the authenticity and heft of duck fat." (Not on the regular menu)  KNOTE: Also apparently they have a butterscotch pudding that looks amazing
Cheapest: Jolly Roger (East)
$3!  "Damn good, The fries were the weak point of this poutine.  Gravy was damn close to typical Quebec poutine sauce (sticky, brown, and salty)." Looks mostly like cheese fries but I trust these guys reviews

Cold Date Does and Don'ts

 

Date Night!

I'm back ya'll and after a brief hiatus in France, I am actually staying in Portland, OR for a bit.  Being in Portland I'm learning about "Cold Dates" which I've always theoretically liked but in practice found that I was really cold and even the warmth of my beau, I was forced to stand next to the 7-11 hotdog warmer until I could feel my hands again.

I am slowly learning how to date in this weather, so let's begin.

1. DON'T wear inappropriate clothing for the weather: Coats always, Pant's Probably.  Your date will think you are an idiot if you didn't know it was cold in Portland....at night...in the snow.
2. DON'T rely on cheap stocking: They don't keep you warm when it's actually cold, only in Beverly Hills in the Summer.
   
3. DO Layer Inappropriate Clothing: For new years I wore my cute black dress with black tights, bright blue long underwear, black UnderArmour.  No-One could see the difference.
4. DO Remove Extra Layers in the Powder Room: Learn by Doing.  I would have discreetly changed out of the extra layers in the powder room if there wasn't such a line and the Waitress hadn't caught me undressing in the closet...Cold Date Faux Pas.
5. DO Bring an umbrella: I know it's not cool to use an umbrella in Portland.  It's not cool to walk in LA. I get it. However, Umbrellas = Longterm Dryness and Warmth.
6. DO Bring a Layer Bag: Rookie mistake.  Bring a tasteful GIANT bag to keep your stupid layers in so you don't look like such an idiot every time you walk into ANYWHERE.

Burger Dates in Portland

Being new to the area, and a cheeseburger Connoisseur, I am always hot to try the burgers of the region (Bourguignon...Burgernion).  Upon searching for datey options I came upon: The Portland Burger Blog.  I love when blogspotters get big!

THE DATE
1.  You and your date should independently review the site in advance and come together with your top three options.  Kiss it out, determine the couple favorite and head over there.
2.  Arrive at the location, ask the waiter for their most popular item and evaluate. (Low Fat Alternative: Have a salad and split the burger so you can both taste the goodness). 
3.  If you decide to do this as a regular activity, fun albeit fattening, I recommend perhaps once a week or every couple of weeks.  Keep track of your favorite. Compete. Enjoy!